How to Help without Judging
Thursday, September 3, 2009
by Dr. Paul Chappell
"Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee."
Psalm 51:12-13
The critical heart is tempered through grace.
A well-loved and popular young man died from a rare form of cancer. His parents, being quite wealthy yet not showing their affluence outwardly, met with a college executive in California with hopes of constructing a building in memory of their son. Seeing the couple, the man guessed they were modest, middle class people. He explained to them about the cost of what they desired then advised them to perhaps think of another way to remember their son, a less expensive way. Humbly, the couple thanked the man for his time, left his office, and determined that if this man wouldn't help them remember their son, they would find someone who would. After much searching, they found someone who would help them, and they established not just a building but a $26 million memorial in honor of their son Leland Stanford, Jr. That memorial is widely known today as Stanford University.
The man who rejected them never asked if they had sufficient funds for the project, consulted with their financier, or took time to hear their ideas about the project. He hastily judged them on their outward appearance and rejected their desires.
Over the last few days we've seen God's command to not judge others, but to judge ourselves and see our own sins. We are often blind to the failures in our own lives while we readily point out the failures of others. But there is a way to help others in their time of weakness without judging them. God does desire that we would help fallen brothers and sisters in Christ and strengthen them in their fight against sin. So, how can we help without judging? Notice two ways we can help others today:
First, in order to help those who have fallen, we must remove the sin in our own lives. We cannot help others if we are struggling ourselves! Think of a lifeguard who has a broken leg. If someone begins to drown, how will he jump in to save them? He could make his best attempt to be a help, but without a healthy body he will end up endangering his life and the life of the one drowning. Even so, if we are not right with God and free of any known sin, we cannot throw the lifeline of help to those falling into sin.
As our verse today states, it is vital that we enter each day with a clean heart. We must approach God each morning and pray, "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10). We must keep ourselves free of sin's hold so we can be ready to help others.
And second, if we want to help others, we must humble ourselves. While many a critic seeks to amplify the failures of others, we must make sure our hearts are humbled and our motives are pure before we help.
The key in helping others is a balance of helpfulness and humility. Galatians 6:1 puts it this way, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." Galatians tells us that if we are right with God, we are to restore others through meekness.
The critical heart is tempered through grace. Those who are truly spiritual realize that were it not for God's grace, they would fall into the same sin. This heart of humility reaches out to the fallen to restore them, rather than to criticize them.
Do you want to help restore fallen Christians to a right place with God? First, make sure your life is free of sin, then humble yourself and rely on God's grace to offer help rather than criticism. As you rely on God's grace, He will give you the strength you need to restore others despite their failures. Never forget that were it not for God's grace, you could be in that person's situation.
