1 Samuel 25:3
“Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.”
In the verse above, Abigail seems to have married a person who was the complete opposite of her. When God described Abigail, He said she was a “woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance” When God described her husband Nabal, He described him as “churlish and evil.” The word “churlish” means, “to be rude.” When you read the story of this marriage you see that Abigail was the opposite of rude. She seemed to have good people skills. Somehow she ended up in a marriage relationship that didn't seem to be the greatest. What I respect about this woman is that even though her marriage wasn't easy to deal with, she found a way to make her marriage work.
Sometimes people don't always turn out the way you thought they would be. Many times in dating relationships people will put on a facade to lure a good person to marry them, then after they are married revert back to their poor habits. When this happens to a person, they find themselves in a bad situation that they did not expect.
If this happens to be your case, then you must find a way to make your marriage work. I have always said that divorce is not an option. Finding a way to work through your marriage problems is the best way to solve those problems. Unfortunately, there are times when one spouse may not care about working these problems out. When this is your situation, and you find yourself in a bad situation, then you are going to have to find a way to work through your problems.
First of all, let me say that you should not endanger your life. When you are married to an abusive spouse, you need to get the authorities involved. Though it may be embarrassing, and in some situations dangerous, you must not endanger your life or the life or your children.
When this is not the situation in your marriage, then the first step you need to take is to ask God to work in the heart of your spouse. You can try to change your spouse, but that will only cause them to put up a wall of defense. Ask God to work in their heart and change them because He can do a work on the inside that you cannot do.
Next, be good to your spouse though they are not good to you. God tells us in the Scriptures that the way to overcome evil is by doing good. Though your spouse may not do right by you, you must do right and be good to your spouse.
Next, be sure you are fulfilling the needs of your spouse. Whether these needs are physical or spiritual, be sure that you are not holding back from your spouse their needs.
Next, when you see some progress in your spouse, let them know that you appreciate what they have done. Don't preach at them about this area; out of appreciation thank them for what they did for you.
Last, don't give up on God or your spouse. Remember, God promises us that we will reap what we sow. So, if we do right, good will eventually come. If you give up on your spouse too early, then you are giving up on God as well. These situations never seem to work out as fast as a person would like them to, but you must not give up.
God intended for marriage to be a happy relationship. Sometimes a marriage is the opposite. If this is your case, then find a way to make it work. Working through your problems is better than running from them. Whatever you do, keep praying and working at your marriage, when you get through your problems you will be thankful that you didn't give up.
To contact Evangelist Allen Domelle, send an email to contact@oldpathsjournal.com.
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