Probable Possibilities
"Worry is sin," the
preacher said. I preached it, too, but that statement doesn't help much. It's
easy to preach and teach, but being human, worry still comes around. "Don't
worry, be happy," makes me want to smack the person saying it.
Even when I am having a good day,
I know my Parkinson's is there, producing uneasiness. Will it stay at bay, or will it act up? How
can I not think about it? How can I now wonder what the future holds? How can I see others in a more advanced stage
and not wonder, will that be me one day?
I do realize that wringing my
hands, fretting and fussing are sin. It tears me up inside, which just makes
things worse physically. I am learning
to give it to God and focus on today. My attitude has changed. I used to get
upset on bad days, as if it was going to be like this from now on. Then, on a
good day I would rejoice, "It's gone, it's gone," but it never was
gone. It was always there, and would show itself again. Now, I appreciate the
good days and ride out the bad days.
The idea is not to focus all my
attention on the unknown. Probable possibilities are not guarantees. I don't
know what the future will bring. It is
just more prominent in my consciousness now, because I can feel my PD. The awareness
of it does not go away.
I am not supposed to be full of
care or anxious over nothing. Instead, I
am to unload my concerns upon the Lord.
Oh, and I am not to forget to be thankful for what I do have.
"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” Philippians 4:6
© copyright Kevin T Boekhoff
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